January and February have both come and gone; and for most of us so have our New Year's Resolutions. I recently was reminded of the most popular resolution (weight loss) as I was recycling my magazines and I came across the January issues of Health Magazine and People (the former is work-related and the latter is my little, guilty pleasure!). It was not surprising to me that these early 2013 issues were filled with stories about weight loss and lifestyle changes.
Many of the stories I read focused on moments in a person's life when he or she knew that they had to change. The stories in People were about individuals who had lost a significant amount of weight, ranging from 60 to 396 pounds. In each case, the health of the individual was severely compromised, leading to dramatic action being taken and/or required. The articles prompted me to think about my experiences with clients and friends who made the decision to get healthy before such a "crisis" moment.
Clients in their early sessions with me, and people generally who are carrying "extra pounds," will often tell me they are happy at that particular weight. Perhaps they feel a need to justify a personal reality that they know is fundamentally unhealthy. I hope you do not think me harsh - but I never believe them. I am sure that some tell themselves that they "look good for their age" or have another rationalization at hand. But deep down, if they are to go to their inner well of denial, they are actually unhappy about their weight, how they feel and how they look. Do you know what I am talking about? Have you ever heard someone who has lost weight say "Wow, I was so much happier lugging around that extra, 10, 20, 30, 40 pounds"? I haven't. Yet so many people try to convince themselves that they are OK with the status quo.
What I have learned through working with my clients is that the extra weight they are holding onto rarely has anything directly to do with food. Instead, a weight issue often has more to do with the holes in their lives than the food on their plates. As a result, the WHY we eat or don't eat, can have as important an impact on weight loss as the WHAT we eat. Really, we all can make healthier choices about what we eat - but we have to work through our underlying resistance in order to make a lasting, positive change in our lives.
In my practice, I look at a client's holes and blind spots, which by their very definition can be hard for someone to recognize on their own. Sometimes it is a puzzle that takes time to work through as the metaphorical onion is peeled back, layer by layer. However, once we have recognized a true "call to action" regarding our weight, and our health generally, we can no longer ignore the gut feeling that something is not right.
I am not saying that you have to be super thin!!! Rather, you need to feel good (inside and out) about yourself and, ultimately, your weight is part of that feeling (as long as you are within a reasonable range that is truly healthy for you). So, how do you get there? The solution is not to go on another diet, but to uncover the areas or issues in your life that are manifesting themselves in what and how you eat. In undertaking this effort, you will get out and explore, try new things, reignite old passions or find new ones. Alternatively, staying "stuck" will lead to more of the same, including incremental inches on your waistline over time, which could be the recipe for an actual health crisis.
"Change" does not have to be complicated. As I say often, it requires two things - making the choice to do things differently and to get the support you need to make it effective. If my words here are ringing true for you and/or making you a little uncomfortable, it means that you may be ready to explore a new path for yourself over the remaining months of 2013.
The Mayan calendar has ended, but the world has not. As a global community, we have left behind a very challenging year. Collectively and individually, let's make this one different, which requires you to step up and do your part! When you are passionate and full of life, those around you are impacted positively. As a result, you will be more fulfilled and those extra pounds will melt away as you let go of everything that is not working for you and get back your zest for life.
Here are a few trigger questions for you:
- Do feel often frustrated and then ignore it?
- Is your inner flame barely flickering?
- Do you look at the life you want and are frustrated because you seem to keep going in circles instead?
If you are ready to ditch the diet, step modestly out of your comfort zone, and are truly brave enough to stop living under the radar in order to find the disconnect in your life, Deborah Nelson Shimer is an amazing resource for you. The name of her company - Ingredients for a Balanced Life sums it all up! Deborah is passionate about inspiring her clients to find the missing ingredients in order to optimize their own personal recipe! Join the thousands of people who have already benefited from Deborah's wisdom on her website http://www.ingredientsforabalancedlife.com.
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